Harol MarshallHarol Marshall, author of nine novels, six mysteries, one short story anthology, and two thrillers. prefers wine to beer but her husband, Gerald Meisner, appreciates both.
I sat at my writing desk absorbed in researching background material for my latest mystery novel when my husband walked into the study and marched over to the file cabinet.
Deciding to turn an interruption into an opportunity, I said, “Have you ever given serious consideration to why you’re here?”
“I’m looking for a copy of our auto insurance policy.”
“No. I’m wondering if you have any idea as to what singular event you owe your existence on this planet. How you as a member of the human race find yourself living in a civilized society surrounded by one unique human innovation after another.”
“I think I’m beginning to understand.” Never missing a beat, he said, “You’ve discovered the invention responsible for the birth of civilization, and you’re wondering if I know what it is, and if I don’t know it, you are going to fill me in.”
“Exactly.” I was impressed with how well he knew me. I waited for his response, one hundred percent certain he would be wrong.
He shut the file drawer. “First, may I remind you that I am a master of the grill. Salmon and babyback ribs are putty in my hands. The answer to why I am here is obvious. Fire. Once humankind learned to control fire, civilized society was inevitable. Nothing promotes social cohesion better than standing around a fire watching a master at work.”
I shook my head. “Humans controlled fire long before they stopped their nomadic life. I’m looking for perhaps the greatest invention of all time, considering the consequences.”
He glanced out the window at his garden. “Domesticating corn.”
“That came later, but you’re getting warm.”
Inching toward the door, he paused. “Lay it on me, but I don’t have time for 20 questions right now.”
“The greatest invention of all time, the one that led to everything… drum roll, please…beer.”
“Beer? Beer’s the greatest invention of all time?” He shook his head. “Where do you find this stuff? Wikipedia?”
“Beer was the reason people in the Middle East, in an area known as the Levant, decided to trade their hunter-gatherer existence for a settled farming life, a lifestyle change that brought about social customs, trade and other aspects of civilization. Based on the archeological evidence, they were experts in raising cereal grains.”
“Uh-huh.”
“The grain that motivated them was barley from which they made beer.”
“And how do these learned archeologists think the Levant people went about the process of inventing beer?”
“Archeologists have figured it out, probably with the help of a master brewer or two. It went something like this. A group of ancient Levant people gathered a bunch of wild grains, mostly barley or barley’s precursor, stuffed the grain in a watertight vessel open to the air, and then left on a hunting trip. Rain came and filled the vessel, breaking down the grains and releasing their sugars. Wild yeast arrived, carried by the wind, and settled on top of the barley mixture. More rain and more sun warmed and stirred the mixture. Pretty soon bubbles formed and we had…fermentation! The hunters returned, saw the bubbly, liked the smell and dared to have a taste. Voila! The first beer party.”
“Well, hunting and beer drinking do go together, so it sounds logical.”
“There’s more…Beer built the pyramids. It was the secret ingredient to constructing the pyramids.”
He immediately agreed. “Right..” Being a physicist, he explained, “The builders used beer instead of water in the mortar. Despite a lot of chemical analysis in recent years, scientists still don’t know the composition of the mortar, nor can they reproduce it. It took a million metric tons of the stuff to build the Great Pyramid of Giza.” He shook his head in wonderment. “Ancient Egyptians were an amazingly intelligent people.”
“I hadn’t run across that bit of trivia about the mortar,” I said. “However, we’re getting off track. The reason beer was the secret ingredient in building the pyramids is because the 4,000 workers, slaves mostly, who spent 20 years building the Great Pyramid, were paid in beer, one jug per day. Beer, which everyone drank, including babies, was not only the premier staple food in Egypt…”
“They fed beer to babies?. That doesn’t sound too smart. I may have to retract my earlier statement.”
“Their beer was highly nutritious and contained less than three percent alcohol. It was also the currency standard. One ‘chit’ equaled 50 jugs of beer.”
“He grinned. “Three percent alcohol? No wonder they had to drink so much of it. I wonder what one chit could buy…two or three revered cats?” He thought for a moment.” I probably wouldn’t trade our cats for 50 jugs of beer but I would be tempted.”
I added an interesting fact. “It took 231,414,717 gallons of beer to build the Great Pyramid.”
He nodded. “Good story,” he said, heading for the door, “but now I’m thirsty for a cold one. Any more questions?”
“Only one,” I said, Thinking back to a question I’d missed on my last Zimbio web quiz, I asked “How many eights are there between one and a hundred?”
“Twenty,” he said, closing the door behind him.
“Right,” I muttered, turning back to my mystery novel. I needed to find a killer beer.