David AmmonsDavid Ammons is president of Retirement Living Associates, Inc. (RLA), a company which provides planning, development, marketing, and management services for new and existing retirement communities. He has worked in and with Senior Living Communities since his graduation from Wake Forest University in 1985.
The decision to move to a retirement community is filled with excitement and enthusiasm. But the process of downsizing, planning a move and other aspects to the move may also have stress or sadness associated with the change.
This change can be a difficult one for older adults as they are entering a new stage in their life. They are leaving a home they’ve known in some cases many years — one that is filled with treasures and memories. Over the next few weeks, all involved may go through many feelings of sadness, stress, and anxiety. From my 30+ years of experience, I can share that in the vast majority of the decisions to move, the change in the end leads to happiness, new opportunities, and the peace of mind that accompanies knowing a person has moved to a place filled with new friends and new securities.
For the child of a parent who is moving to a retirement community, the support role is critical to the success of this move. For some families the adult children take on the role as professional organizer and mover, in addition to being a supportive daughter or son. This can cause issues, some long lasting.
For a senior moving to a retirement community, the loss of control is generally a big fear. If they feel they are losing control of their belongings, they can go through a process similar to grieving the loss of a loved one. For some support persons it is possible that you do not feel the same sense of nostalgia that your parent is feeling about a set of dishes. If there are other family members involved, they may also be at different places emotionally during this move. There are many dynamics that can make the move even more stressful.
One option is to consider hiring a Senior Move Manager to help your family with this move.
A Senior Move Manager is specially trained to help older adults and their families with the daunting process of downsizing and moving to a new residence. You can learn more about Senior Move Managers at www.nasmm.org. A Senior Move Manager will typically come to your loved one’s home to help him/her decide what items to bring to the retirement community, what items to donate, and what items to recycle or throw away. They’ll also work with movers and other vendors to complete the downsizing process.
One of the greatest services that a Move Manager can provide is a settling-in service. During this service a Move Manager will take time to set up the bathroom space and kitchen areas, so your parent can immediately start living in the home. During the settling in and unpacking process, be sure to take some time just to sit together outside of the home. Dine at a favorite lunch spot and be there to ask how he or she is feeling about this transition.