David Ammons - HeadshotDavid Ammons

David Ammons is president of Retirement Living Associates, Inc. (RLA), a company which provides planning, development, marketing, and management services for new and existing retirement communities. He has worked in and with Senior Living Communities since his graduation from Wake Forest University in 1985.

My article in this issue is something I have thought about, both professionally and personally, for a long time. In fact, it may have the potential to offend but given that nothing is intended beyond observation, I have decided to share a common occurrence that often intrigues me.

Home Fits Lifestage

I think many would agree that, generally, where we live and the type of home we live in fits our current lifestage. Not always, of course; our home may not change as quickly or as often as our lifestage but the two are certainly linked.

For Example:

  1. Young adult graduates from school, regardless of level of schooling, and gets first “own” place, often an apartment. Family and Friend Reaction (FFR) is “That is great. Congratulations!”
  2. Slightly older adult gets promotion or a better job and purchases first “own” place, maybe a small condo or townhome. FFR is “That is great. Congratulations!”
  3. Young Adult, now about 30 years of age, gets engaged and the young couple investigates small “starter” home. FFR is “That is great. Congratulations!”
  4. Couple announces upcoming arrival of first child, and they look into a slightly larger home with a nice nursery. FFR is “That is great. Congratulations!”
  5. Careers advance and/or family grows; now family of three or four look into larger home or. maybe smaller, “executive type” home. FFR is “That is great. Congratulations!”
  6. Middle-aged couple with teenage children moves to larger home. FFR is “That is great. Congratulations!”
  7. Kids leave the nest; couple enjoys busy careers; graduations of children; begin more regular maintenance of nice home and tell friends they are enjoying being empty nesters. FFR is “That is great. Congratulations!”
  8. Couple now in early 70’s begins to explore a Retirement Community. When they share this news with Family and Friends, the reaction is, “Oh my, is everything okay?”

Now certainly, I know this is over-simplified, maybe even over-glamorized, but I trust that you get my point. We celebrate all of lifestages except this one, even as new retirement communities have become more and more like cruise ships or country clubs with theaters, spas, exercise programs, life-enriching activities and lots of new friends. We welcome the news with the assumption that the goal was for the lifestages described above to stay the same forever.

As a Retirement Community professional, I work every day to whittle away at this (Can I say stereotype?), and even find myself in my personal life reacting in a similar fashion. I wonder as the nursing homes of the 1960s changed to the retirement homes of the 1980s, how far we will continue to move before we welcome the news that someone is moving to a retirement community with “That is great. Congratulations!!!”