Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D.Dr. Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D., works as a coach, or guide, for seniors and their families as they consider and plan for changes in their personal and work lives. Contact her at theagecoach@gmail.com or 336-202-5669.
As friends and family leave our holiday or milestone celebrations, we put leftovers in the freezer, find storage places for gifts, and resume regular routines.
We smile remembering how lovely it felt to socialize and entertain: the delicious food, sparkling decorations, the lively conversations.
And yet, there is often a certain sense of unease. We may be nagged by an argument with Bob. We might play over and over, in our minds, Lilly’s criticism or Maria’s grief. Or perhaps we are saddened and at loose ends as quiet returns or we reluctantly go back to our usual routines.
We enjoyed ourselves and most of our memories are pleasant, but we also feel stressed.
How can we navigate these transitions? How can we “gear down” from the high energy of celebrations and “gear up” to a sense of balance?
Being in this very moment can be the answer!
Review and Reminisce
Let your mind wander through the celebration. Review what happened and what was said.
Recall the pleasant moments. Feel them again.
What were the lovely comments? Who seemed particularly engaged? What was your favorite moment and why?
Recall the events that seemed problematic.
What did Bob argue about? Did Lilly’s comment have a significant impact? What was Maria expressing in her sadness?
Recall the positive and negative moments, but don’t dwell there. Notice if something is unresolved and, if you see the need, follow up. Then, shift your focus to what you are doing and feeling now.
Return to and Readjust Routines
As exciting as celebrations can be, they can be stressful. They change what and when we do things. Sleep and eating schedules are interrupted. Chores pile up. Obligations to family, volunteering and work are delayed.
At the same time, the change gives us a chance to notice that our usual patterns might benefit from adjustment.
So, return to the routines that make sense to you, but alter them thoughtfully.
Getting back to exercising, eating sensibly, and taking care of responsibilities are important for your list of things to resume. On the other hand, you may have heard about some new opportunities you would like to try, or you may have noticed that some of your obligations, put aside for a while, are not necessary.
Getting back on schedule, along with giving up outdated activities and taking on new roles, can reduce stress enormously.
Remember to Breathe
One of the most effective ways to gear down from stress is to practice mindful breathing.
Intentional, focused breathing can be part of meditation, yoga, tai chi, cardiovascular exercise…or just a practice in itself. Here is one approach:
Stop what you are doing.
Sit comfortably.
Look steadily at an object or close your eyes.
Take a deep breath in through your nose to a slow count: one, two, three.
Exhale the breath through your mouth to a slow, longer count: one, two, three, four.
Repeat these steps three or four times before going back to other activities.
Repeat the entire routine at intervals during the day.
Intentional breathing slows us down. It centers us, away from thoughts, concerns and problem solving. It cleanses our bodies and brains.
It gets us ready to “be in this very moment.”
Would you like to talk about activities for your fulfilling future or other questions about this new period in your life? Contact Dr. Cheryl Greenberg at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com.
Would you like to talk about new ways that you, or someone you are caring for, can stay active, healthy and loving who you and they are today? Contact Dr. Cheryl Greenberg at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com.